Vintage

Question of the (Night?)

It’s a mere fifteen minutes before Easter officially begins here on the east coast and with this holiday, I have a special question. It’s my “Question of the Day” at night, making it effectively my “Question of the Night.” Clearly you can see my writing abilities go downhill as the night grows older. This introductory paragraph sucks.

Anyway, the question.

If Chris is a shorterned version of “Christopher,” then would it be acceptable to name your child “Christopher” but refer to him as Christ?

Is this blasphemous? Not that it matters, as I’m about as Christian as your typical run-of-the-mill fun-haver, but I just want to know. I mean, there is a “t” in the name. It comes after the “s.” So this means it should be absolutely acceptable for my first-born son to be Christ Berger.

And just think: with a name like “Christ Berger,” he is practically guaranteed the presidency of the United States. I mean, first we elect someone who speaks to God (Georgie B); in a few decades, it’ll be a no-brainer to actually elect Christ president!

So what do you think? Is this in bad taste? Am I a bad person?

Because if it is, and I am, then my goal has been achieved.

Have a good Easter tomorrow, everyone. I’ll see you all around—and don’t forget about the Easter Wrap-Up over at the OMFG Show tomorrow night. Blaspheming, be damned (or just us).